Our tens(not a misspelled word) of use:
Please read these ten terms before using http://www.herbertmag.net. Failing to do so, may cause incomprehensible consequences. You have been warned.
I warned you.
1.- The Honcho. J. Herbert, husband of a wife, father of known children, brother of three, and son of a…mother created this site alone, by himself, and with nobody’s assist.
Therefore, J. Herbert will be revered from this point on as ‘the Honcho’.
2.- ‘Users’ of this site are breathing beings from the animal kingdom that maybe stereotyped as humans. If any dog, cat, elephant, Zombie, walking dead, etc. or any other non-human living beings use this site please refrain from calling yourself USER. You are not. We reserve the right to exclusively accept alive HUMANS, so stop visiting this site if you are not.
Editor’s note: Any entity in compliance with the above rule will be refer as ‘users’ from this point on.
3.- Usage: this site contains all sort of information created by the Honcho, and he is the sole proprietor of anything posted, drawn, written, commented, blah, blah! However this is the case, users assume full responsibility on how to use the Honcho’s property, and consequently the Honcho may not be liable whatsoever. Users also assume the irremediable responsibility to provide comments, wit, and spice to whatever the Honcho’s twisted mind vomits into the site.
4.- Contents: Intellectual property of the contents (contents from now on) stays with the Honcho who reserves, and preserves, and amperes the intellectual property — all rights reserved— of the contents: sounds, images, texts, logos, softwares, brands, structures, white spaces, address bars, comments, wits, and electric currents that currents on this site; and users can not, under any circumstance; see, read, copy, use, modify, etc., the content unless users tell five friends or more that the Honcho is the coolest man on earth. Users must prove beyond reasonable doubt that they have comply with the above ‘unless’ in order to read, see, smell, or think about the contents of the Honcho’s intellectual property.
Yet, ‘unless’ complying users make the solemn promise to ruminate the content 24/7, and see and read and think about the contents not only while they navigate through this site, but ad-nausea. Users most also promise that they will forget the contents of this site if for any reason users ever get into trouble for believing the Honcho’s teachings (users may disregard Sundays, and holidays).
Users most also promise that they will comment with friends and relatives about the Honcho’s niceness and handsomeness. Guarding themselves not to make any derogatory comment about the contents, users are also allowed to use obscene words and/or dirty signs while talking to others about the contents, as long as they are not discriminatory, racist, homosexual, gays, queer, faggot, straight, heterosexual, lesbian, negro, white, white-brown, milky-white, trans-gender, trans-former, trans-atlantic, anglo-saxon, saxon-five, african, african-american, african-african, latino, christian, hebrew, islamic, buddhist, etc.
5.- Exclusion clause: the Honcho is no responsible in any way shape or form, for nay damages, injuries, or lost of any kind that users may suffer for believing the incongruities of this site. Even if users may divorce their spouses the Honcho does no know anything about that. And denies any accusation whatsoever.
6.- Modifications clause: the Honcho reserves the whole right to mutilate the contents published by any user or else. Anything the Honcho considers to mutilate will be mutilated. Period.
8.- Extremal links: the Honcho is no responsible for external links users post to this site. Particularly if they are of less than reputable sources.
8a.-External links ammendment: The only links the Honcho recommend users bring to his attention are porno sites, bikini shows, naked women sites, anything except these highly educational sources will be strongly refused and blocked and reported to the LRTLTPGWIB (association of Ladies of the Ring That Lost Their ‘Precious’ to Gollum and Want It Back).
9.- Exclusion: the Honcho reserves the right to refuse or deny, or block, or stop, or seal off, or barricade, or closure, or encircle, or restrict, or roadblock, or siege, or bar, or clog, or embolus, or hindrance, or impede, or infarct, or obstacle or obstruct, or snag, or wall, any access from advertisers. Ads posted by users are strongly prohibited. Unless they comply with clause 8a above or those that explicitly prove that the Honcho will get a gorgeously sexy lady date out of accepting the ads.
A.-Non compliance with the above mentioned tens of use is discouraging, and tyring. So please, obey them.
B.-While comments to this tens are welcomed, they are strongly discouraged.
C.-Without exceptiions the Honcho must be adore and revered 365 days a year.
D.-Users and/or visitors who are offended by this Tens of Use or shout ‘bigotry”, I say to you: you have no sense of humour. Neither do I.